Sermon Notes: Now Are We The Sons Of God

Last Sunday I had the privilege of preaching at my local church. Here are my sermon notes complete with random mental doodlings and notes-to-self.

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1st John 3:1-3

1. Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not. 2. Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 3. And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure.

I want to share with you something that has absolutely changed my outlook on life. It’s changed my view of myself, my identity, my purpose and my progress. I hope it will do the same for you. Identity – knowing who were are and how we fit into the universe – is one of the most powerful forces in the world. It effects how we live and in many cases how we die. Therefore, having a biblical understanding of who we are is vital. This is a huge topic however I want to explore one element of our identity as believers in Jesus Christ.

Pray.

A New Identity (Verse 1)

According Verse 1 the Father bestows love upon us. John has a lot to say about love. And before we go any further this is a theme that needs to be explored. Elsewhere John says that God is Love. This is a huge statement. According to John, love isn’t just something God does. It’s something He is. This is huge. It also created a bit of a predicament. Love is something one person has for another and therefore love cannot exist with only one person. So, this raises the question, who did God love prior to creation.

Well, fkr the Christian this is really no problem at all. We believe in One God eternally existent in Three Persons. How’s that work? I have no idea. But that’s okay. If God were only as big as our brain He wouldn’t be worth the time of day. He won’t really be God.

For the sake of this discussion, I just want you to understand that the reality of the Holy Trinity is what allows John to say that God is Love. For love to exist you need three things – a Lover (someone who does the loving), a Beloved (the object of that love) and then from the love between the Lover and the Beloved will proceed the spirit of that relationship.

Thus, before time began, God the Father loved God the Son. And from eternity past Love Itself has proceeded from their relationship in such reality and intensity that it’s an actual person – the Person of the Holy Spirit. Example of Jesus’ Baptism.

So, what does all this have to do with us? Actually, it has everything to do with us. This love is the reason we exist. The awesome love that existed in the Triune God went on the road, if you will. Love existed within the Triune God from eternity past. And then it boiled over and the God of Love began creating things. The climax of His creation was, of course, man.

“And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.” (Genesis 1:26) Note the plurality of the pronouns. The Triune God determined to create a creature in the His Image who would therefore be able to enjoy the fellowship of love that is Himself. Relationship is the reason the universe exists.

But of course man’s rebellion ruined all that. Now, you and I are, in our natural/normal state, outside of the relationship of God. We can’t fellowship with God. We can’t enjoy the splendor that is Himself. And since we’re severed from Love Himself we find that our love for others is also plagued with selfishness and sin. We cannot truly communicate with the Father. In our natural condition, we are enemies of God – enemies of Love Himself.

But this brings us to 1st John 3. Read Verse 1. He doesn’t just bestow love upon us. He bestows a particular manner of love; the type of love that gives us a new identity. In love, God gives us a new identity. He makes us sons of God, just as Christ is the Son of God.

In the Bible, sonship means more than simply being someone’s offspring. It’s a defining characteristic of how you are. To a point, we still recognize this in our culture. Every time I write my full name I’m reminded that I’m not just Josh, I’m Josh Stilwell. Or, other way to say this is that I’m the child of a Stilwell. Like it or not, this is a part of my identity. PDI illustration.

Moreover, the Bible speaks of being a son as a matter of identity. For example, throughout the Scriptures wicked mean are referred to as sons of Belial. Now, this doesn’t mean that their dad’s name was Belial. Rather, it means that Belial is what characterizes them. In the biblical lexicon to say that so-and-so is a son of such-and-such is to say that so-and-so is like such-and-such.

Look at what Jesus said to the corrupt religious leaders in John 8:44: “You are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father you will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.” Christ equated sonship with identity. He told his enemies that their father was the devil and so the behaved like the devil.

So, when John says that we’re sons of God it’s not just a label or a position. It’s a change of identity. He’s saying that in Christ you are no longer like your father the devil or your father Adam. You’re now a son of God. You’re now like God. Your identity is now wrapped up in God.
It was John how talked so much about being born again in his Gospel. In birth we’re a new person. Now longer bound to our sinful flesh. Rather, now you’re a son of God.

Elsewhere, John tells us that this glorious blessing is acquired through faith in Christ. John 1:12: “But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name.” And when we put our faith in Christ we become bound to Him.

“And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ;” (Romans 8:17)
Our identity is now linked to that of Christ. Everything Christ is we are to lesser degrees. He’s the King of kings and the High Priest Forever, we’re kings and priests unto God (Revelation 1:6). He’s the Only Begotten Son of God, we’re adopted sons of God. Through Christ, we enter this triangle of love. So, in Christ, the Father looks at us – sinful creatures – and says, “This is my beloved son” and gives us His Holy Spirit. The Father is our Lover. We share in Christ’s status as the Beloved. And the Spirit energizes and secures that relationship.

This is a truly awesome thing. The triune fellowship becomes a foursome. God saw fit to bring us into this relationship. Now the Father stands before us, the object of our affections. Christ stands beside us, as our Holy Brother to whom we owe everything. The Spirit dwells within us sealing us to Himself.

How awesome is this! Frail mortal creatures are invited by God to share in this dynamic, breathtaking, intimate relationship that was within the Triune God since before the world began! Illustration of prayer.

But, if you’re like me you don’t always feel like a child of God. You don’t always feel that intimacy that maybe you think you should. I don’t feel like I’m like God. I don’t sense that identity is bound to His. So why is that? If we’re children of God why it is that it sometimes seems like such a distant reality?

Well, John offers us an explanation for that as well as a hope. A hope that is found in a new destiny.

A New Destiny (Verse 2)

Read Verse 2a. So, John assures that we are now sons of God. That’s a present-tense statement of fact. If you’ve put your faith in Jesus Christ you are right now a child of God. However, he also tells us that it “doth not yet appear what we shall be”. So, even though you’re are at this very moment of a child of the living God not all of the practical realities of this status have been fully realized yet.

You still live in a sin cursed universe with a sin cursed body influenced by our adversary. Therefore, the full effects of beings a child of God are not yet fully realized. But, thankfully, John doesn’t stop there. Read Verse 2b.

This is the assurance that all believers have. When we see our Lord and Savior we will be like Him. We will be sons of God is the fullest sense. Not just positionally or in some abstract metaphoric sense. We shall really truly be like Him. And that means, among other things, that this glorious relationship with the Father will be realized an even greater level.

“For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.” Romans 8:29

As a believer it is your preordained destiny to look like Jesus. As sons of God, when we see Jesus we will look like the Son of God. The goals, as stated in Romans 8:29, is so that Jesus might be the first born of many brethren. Big brother illustration of Christ protecting and looking out for us.

This is what Jesus came to give us. He didn’t just save us from hell. He gave us a new identity – His identity. The Son of God became man so that men become sons of God. He took our place on the cross so that we might share in His place before the Father.

So, remember this next time you’re struggling with temptation or feel that you’ve suffered spiritual defeat. Your victory is secure and immutable. You will be like Christ. Your destiny is now bound to His. And so, like Him, you shall be victorious.

But, wait, you might be saying. If my victory is so certain – if it’s practically a done deal that I will be like Jesus – than can’t I just kick back and relax? Why do I have to worry about laboring so much to be like Christ right now? Can I sin that grace may abound?

John actually argues for the exact opposite. Rather than being a hindrance to our sanctification, the certainty of our destiny is actually presented as motivation for our sanctification.

A New Priority (verse 3)

Read Verse 3. John is telling us that something is to change in the person who has this hope. In the Bible, indicatives always fuels imperatives. Reality motivates practice. We have a new reality. Our identity is now in God. We are children of God called upon to live accordingly and one day that identity will be fully realized. The individual who knows that one day he will be like Jesus Christ is to live differently than the person who doesn’t know or accept that. The person who understands that he will one day look like Christ we behave as if he already does.
Because we as believers are promised that one day we will be pure like Christ we are to live pure lives now. We are to stretch out our arms and reach for our destiny. We are to live in accordance with our destiny right now.

There is a sense in which we are, as C.S. Lewis described it, “dressing up like Christ.” We are to behave like full fledged children of God, in anticipation of one day experiencing that to its fullest. This “pretending” to already be like Christ affects really every element of the Christian life. Even our prayer life. Jesus taught us to address God as He would address God – as our Father. We are to overcome temptation because that’s what Jesus did. We are to submit to the Father even unto death, because that’s what sons of God do. In our everyday lives, we are to be pure as Christ is pure.

In short this means that we are to behave, not like ourselves, but like our Holy Brother. And the incredible thing is that when we start behaving as if we were like Jesus eventually we really truly become like Jesus. We’re like a little boy who dressed up in his daddy’s clothes and then one day wakes up to discover that he is very much like his dad. Or, to keep with my earlier illustration, we’re little kids tagging along with our Big Brother. I would sometimes get annoyed when my little siblings tried to follow me around and do everything I did. But our Eldest Brother, Jesus Christ, wants us to be imitating Him. He wants us to follow the path He has trailed. And as we imitate Christ we become more and more like Him in reality. There are certain traits that my younger siblings picked up from me. But, eventually those traits become just a natural part of who they were, and not just imitation.

Now if this whole idea of pretending that we may become seems a little odd to you, remember that most things in life actually work that way. For example, have you ever been in a situation where you had to be friendly to a person you don’t real feel very friendly towards? But you know that the right thing to do is to be friendly and so you do. But as you pretend to be friendly you discover that you sudden feel friendlier in actuality. Pretense becomes reality.

Thus, because we have the hope of being like pure Jesus Christ we are to live that way now. Though John teaches that this will not be fully realized until we see Christ, he also teaches us to begin living as if it’s true right now.

So, because we’ve been made sons of God let us be mindful of that reality. Sonship is a blessing of justification and a means of sanctification. Let us not take for granted to blessing of knowing God and being invited into this relationship with Him. But let us also remember that the full practical realization of our sonship has not been fulfilled. Therefore, we must labor to be pure as Christ is pure with the hope that when we see Him we shall be like Him. We need to behave like the children of God that we are.

7 Christian Fantasy Books That You May Never Have Heard Of But Should Totally Read

Many of you may know that I'm an absolute sucker for quality fantasy fiction (by quality I mean that Twilight doesn't count). I'm eagerly anticipating The Hobbit movie(s) and have always appriciate the imagination is takes to create these works.

But I've also learned a great deal from many fantasy writers. Because it deals almost by definition with the supernatural, fantasy is probably the most inherently spiritual genre. While this means that it can be very dangerous when done badly (Satanism, paganism and so on) it also means that fantasy can be a powerful tool is exploring Christian truth.

Christians have a long history in the genre. The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia are of course the bulwarks of the Christian fantasy - one the standard of allegory and the other the standard of Christian applicability. While these two works are definitely the best known, there are many other like works that I think deserve some attention. I'd like to direct you to my personal favorites.


From John Bunyan:


I was first introduced to this style of writing when my Sunday school class read The Pilgrim's Progress. Since then my mind has been captivated by the educational and inspiration power of allegory. But it's only been recently that I've been introduced to two other allegories written by the Baptist preacher. The Life and Death of Mr. Badman is the reverse of The Pilgrim's Progress. Holy War is a mind blowing tale of God's benevolent conquest over the human heart.


From George MacDonald:

C.S. Lewis referred to George MacDonald as his master. It was while reading Phantastes that a young atheist Lewis was confronted with holiness. He would later say that MacDonald baptized his imagination. I would recommend starting your explanation of MacDonald by reading The Princess and the Goblins and the sequel, The Princess and Curdie. In these books you can definitely see the inspiration for Lewis' writing style. Likewise, the goblins of The Princess and the Goblins served as the inspiration for Tolkien's orcs.


From C.S. Lewis:


Of course, there's the basic Narnia stories which every human being on the planet should read. However, Lewis also wrote many other fiction stories. The Screwtape Letters is a classic that will make you laugh out loud when it's not scaring you to death. In it, Lewis provides many insights into human nature and spiritual warfare. But Lewis believed Til We Have Faces to be his very best work and I can't say that I disagree. The characters are rich, the writing style engrossing and the plot mind blowing. But you have to stick with because it all "clicks" at the very end.


From J.R.R. Tolkien:


The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings are absolute must-reads. However, for someone looking to dig deeper, The Silmarillion is a good read. In this massive postmortem work, the professor is much more overt about his Christian faith. Valaquenta (a sub-section of the book) begins, "In the beginning Eru, the One, who in the Elvish tongue is named Iluvatar, made the Ainur of his thought; and they made a great Music before him." If you don't want to read the whole thing just read Of Beren and Luthien. It was Tolkien's personal favorite, inspired in part by his own marriage and the first one he showed to his best friend, C.S. Lewis. It is also pay tribute to through the relationship between Aragorn and Arwen in The Lord of the Rings.

These are some of my favorite which I hope you'll enjoy too. I'd love to hear from you as well. What are some of your favorites?

Book Excerpt: God's Image Seen In Gender

For a while now I've been working on writing a book for young men. I feel that this is a subject that has not been given nearly enough attention and I felt led to do my part to make up for the deficit. Basically, I want to write the book that I wish had existed when I was fourteen. I've (finally) finished the first draft and have begun the editing process.

This is an excerpt from my chapter on Imago Dei. Specifically, I want to explore how our being the Image of God provides us with the basis for sexual identity. I would love to get your feedback on this pivotal section.

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Right from the get-go, being created in the Image of God was tied to the genders. “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” (Genesis 1:27) The only thing called “not good” in God’s creation was the fact that Adam was alone. Without a mate he was lacking something. So God created Woman from Man.

One can hardly have a discussion about gender role without going to the starting point. Genesis 2 is the ground zero of this whole debate. It is this passage that both Jesus and Paul would go to in order to defend their positions on marriage and the roles of men and women (Matthew 19:4-5, I Timothy 2:12-14). And this idea of distinct genders makes perfect sense, seeing that God was making a creature in His own Image.

For what does the Image of God look like? Well, it looks like its Maker – One God eternally existent in Three Persons. The Triune God exists as both singular and plural. And within the Trinity there is structure and unity, submission and love, authority and equality. Therefore, the Image of God is also singular and plural, structured and unified, submissive and loving, authoritative and equal.

This is important because it seems that human being naturally use their view of God as blueprint for their interaction between the genders. For example, the Islamic conception of God is distant and authoritarian and thus many Muslim husbands tend to be distant and authoritarian toward their wives. Modalist denominations teach both that the Father, Son and Spirit are interchangeable and also that the roles of men and women are interchangeable. Likewise, I think it’s no coincidence that the fathers of Mormonism, a henotheist/polytheist religion, practiced patriarchal polygamy. I could give examples all day. Our theology proper directly effects our view of the marriage and the sexes. Christianity is the only faith that provides a balance of equality and authority, form and freedom, unity and diversity.

Just as God exists as one being in multiple persons, so do two human persons become a single organism (“one flesh”). In the Trinity 1 + 1 + 1 = 1 and in marriage 1 + 1 = 1. This is mysterious math of relationships modeled after the Relationship. And just as the divine persons came together to create a creature in Their image, so do man and woman come together to procreate a creature in their image. The other Trinitarian reflections appear in how God designed the genders to relate to one another. Within the Triune Jehovah there is order and others-centeredness but we see the idea of submission within the Godhead very clearly throughout the Scriptures.

God the Son readily confesses His submission to the Father in John 5:19: “Therefore Jesus answered and was saying to them, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner.’” In fact, Christ submitted to the point of death, crying, “Not My will but Thine.” (Luke 22:42 KJV)

Likewise, the Spirit obeyed of both Father and Son. Jesus said, "I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever.” (John 14:16). Of the Spirit, Christ says, “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak.” (John 16:13 ESV) On the flipside, Jesus was led by the Spirit while he was on earth (Luke 4:1).

But, we mustn’t get the idea that the Trinity is some dictatorial regime where the Father beats the Son and Spirit into submission and forces them to do His bidding. The Trinity doesn’t contain bullies that push around the other members. To the contrary, the persons of the thrice-holy God relentlessly seek to exalt one another. Look at how the Father treats the submissive Son: “God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name.” (Philippians 2:9) He exalted His name above every single name. It goes on to say that every living thing will bow the knee and confess Jesus as Lord. This is how the Holy Trinity works: some members lead, others submit, all exalt one another.

Likewise, the Trinity is the Trinity in Unity. The fundamental Old Testament confession is, “Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one!” (Deuteronomy 6:4) The individual persons of the Triune God are not independent beings with their own autonomy and agenda. Rather, they are singular in essence and will. There is One God eternally existent in Three Persons.

This is a very basic summary of how our beautiful God functions as triune, but I hope that it gives you a picture of why gender is such a big part of being created in God’s Image . Just like God, some members in creation lead, others submit but we all exalt one another. At creation, God determined that man would lead and woman would submit, as a reflection of His divine nature. But the headship of the man wasn’t about ruling with an iron fist. It was about loving and honoring and exalting the woman. And within that structured marital relationship, the man and woman are be one flesh (Ephesians 5:28-30), just as the divine persons are One God.

Some people seem to have the idea that God created men and women then arbitrarily assigned roles to them. In actuality, the roles came first, springing out of the divine nature, and then God created two distinct genders to embody those roles. Masculinity existed before male-ness and Femininity proceeded female-ness. What an awesome thing that we can reflect the breathtaking beauty of the Triune Jehovah!

That’s why I find it so disheartening when I see so many men and women attempt to downplay their sexual identity in the name of “personhood” and “equality”. It’s almost as if people are ashamed of their masculinity or femininity. Nowadays, men and women act the same, dress the same, behave the same and can even marry the same person if they wanted to. Gender has become a trivial technicality that is (at best) minimized and (at worst) obliterated. What a slap in the face to a God who made two distinct and magnificent genders for His glory!

John Piper hit the nail on the head in saying, “Confusion over the meaning of sexual personhood is epidemic. The consequence of this confusion is not a happy and free harmony among gender-free persons relating on the basis of abstract competencies. The consequence rather is more divorce, more homosexuality, more sexual abuse, more promiscuity, more social awkwardness, and more emotional distress and suicide that come with the loss of God-given identity.”[1]

A God-given identity obtained by gazing at God Himself.

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[1] John Piper, “A Vision of Biblical Complementarity: Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible,” in John Piper and Wayne Grudem (ed.), Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood, (Wheaton, IL; Crossway Books, 1992), p. 33

3 Ways to Ruin Gentlemanliness

The treatment of women is a very important issue to me. I firmly believe that our families, churches and cultures need a resurgence of godly gentlemanliness. As men we need to have an attitude of servant leadership that takes initiative and carries the burdens of others. I would like to hereby dub this concept biblical chivalry. However, that term needs a little clarification. By chivalry I don’t mean a list of rules related to ballroom dancing. I’m a sucker for old words with long histories and so I’m simply using this word to describe an attitude which assumes that men and women ought to behave in consistency with their role in every circumstance. This in turn assumes that the man ought to treat the woman in an initiatory, benevolent and sacrificial manner.

The modifier biblical distinguishes this idea from some casual understanding that men and women should treat each other with respect. The right sort of chivalry needs to be grounded in the Bible. Now, this is not to say that the Scriptures lay out some nice, neat list about the dos and don’ts for male-female interaction. If it did we’d all become instant legalists. Rather I’m saying that our interactions with women ought to be governed by a firm understanding of biblical principles, like Complementarianism, the Gospel of grace, loving your neighbor and Trinitarianism.

Though I’ll be using examples like opening doors and carrying luggage, I would encourage you not to get hung up on the actions themselves. I believe that these actions should be done in a natural manner and if you can’t do that then don’t worry about it. Find another means of displaying honoring and appreciation toward ladies. But we must be careful because this is really easy to get wrong.

I distinctly remember the day when I discovered (shockingly) that I would never be a world famous chef. I was a preteen and the rest of my family had gone to run some errands. Being the responsible eldest child that I am, I agreed to make supper for the family. Pancakes were on the menu and thus I proceeded to follow the directions written out for me. With great zeal and anticipation of completing my first coronary masterpiece, I eager mixed the ingredients, poured the batter on the skillet, flipped the cakes (which was the of course the most fun part) and set and the table.

With eager anticipation and I prepared to present my family with the most incredible mealtime experience of their lives. However, as my family began to partake of the pancakes, it became clear that my plan hadn’t quite worked out. My first clue that something was wrong was when my siblings began to make gagging noises. My mom polity declined a second helping and even my dad, whose been known to eat just about anything, couldn’t clean his plate.

Come to find out there’s a difference between baking powder and baking soda. Who knew? Pancakes are good, but not if you do it wrong. Biblical chivalry is the same way. It’s a very good thing but also easy to mess up. That’s why I want to take this time to point to three ways to ruin these (to quote Elisabeth Elliot) “ceremonial acts of sacrifice.”

1. Be partial

In preparing to write this post I posed a question to the gals on Facebook (because that’s just the way we do things these days). I asked them what they thought about this whole issue. I got a lot of good feedback. One of my friends stated that the service of guys made her feel “like I'm the most cherished girl to ever walk the face of the earth. Plus, my respect for one who does so shoots through the roof.” But she was also quick to add, “Especially (note this) if you do so for every girl, no matter how young or old... not just a girl you like. A man who treats all women with Christ-like brotherly love is a man who is highly respected.”

Some guys have the tendency to give special treatment to the girls they like or think are pretty. We tend to be less quick to open the door for the woman we don’t find attractive in either appearance or in personality. However, this is in direct contradiction to our reasons for practicing these acts.

We aren’t to treat women gentlemanly in order to get something from them or impress a hottie. Rather, chivalry is to be an act of sacrifice – of giving something up, whether it be little or big. To be motivated by selfish impulse defeats the entire purpose. Our goal is to make women feel honored. They can tell if you’re showing favoritism and this can do more to degrade them than just standing by and doing nothing.

“But what if a certain woman doesn’t deserve to be honored in that way?” you may ask. It’s a fair question. Certainly many women don’t deserve to be honored. But remember what we’re trying to point to. We deserve absolutely no honor and get Jesus bled and died that we might be His joint-heirs. He honored us despite our gross unworthiness. Thus, you are most chivalrous and gentlemanly when reverencing someone who has absolutely no right to it. Undeserving recipients aren’t a hindrance to biblical chivalry; they’re an opportunity to bring further glory to Christ.

2. Be condescending

In my little informal Internet survey, one of the issues that kept coming up was that women didn’t want to feel as if they were being treated like children. While many expressed appreciation for guys who served them, they continually reiterated that they could do those things.

None of our actions should be motivated contempt for women. We shouldn’t make them feel that we’re looking down on them. Rather, we should make them feel honored and valued. This starts with having a high view of women. As men we must hold the fairer sex in high regard. A biblical view of women will give us that. It will teach us to dismiss the horrific popular portray of women and to see women as our Master Jesus did.

However, it’s not enough to simply know that women are to be honored. They have to know it. Even if our intentions are as pure as the driven snow, we may still be misunderstood. To counter this predicament our actions, countenance and speech must all portray a spirit of appreciation for womanhood and a respect for the individual woman.

3. Be pushy

A relative of mine once recounted an experience he had in college. It happened to be storming that day, and all the students were busy scurrying about the campus trying to get to their next class without getting soaked to the skin. As he rushed into a building, my relative noticed a female college student close behind him, sprinting through the slushy sidewalk with a pile of books in her hands. Naturally, he opened to the door to let her into the building. However, the woman simply stopped in front of the doorway (rain drenching her all the while), frowned and insisted that she was quite capable of opening the door by herself.

What was the man to do? What would be the gentlemanly thing to do? Frankly, I think it was what my relative did. He let her stand in the rain. Now how is this gentlemanly? you may ask. A true gentleman does not force chivalry upon a lady. He doesn’t make her take his seat. He doesn’t make her walk through a door. This is not honoring or respectful of the woman.
You would not feel honored if someone forced you to use their service. We’ve all heard of the annoying great aunt who comes over to “help out” by rearranging all the cupboards, making everyone dress up and just being a general nuisance. Chivalry is to be voluntary gift and the acceptance of that gift must be voluntary as well.

This is a principle that will govern all your interactions with women, including marriage. To my knowledge, marriage is the only God-ordained authority structure that does not include an “enforcement mechanism”. In other words, God does not grant the husband any means of imposing his authority. The state has the sword (Romans 13:4), parents have the rod (Proverbs 13:24) and the church has ecclesial discipline (Matthew 18:15-20) but no such implement is given in marriage. In contrast, the wife is told to “submit yourself unto your own husband” (Ephesians 5:22, emphasis mine). Submission is something that she must place upon herself, not something you are to lord over her. Forced submission is not biblical submission.

This same principle is applicable to premarital interaction as well. No action, no matter how well intended, should be forced upon a woman. Rather, we should humbly offer our services and let them do what they will with it.

But most importantly, we as men must develop the selfless character of Christ that carries the burdens of others and seek to serve those around them. This is the high and humble calling of the Christian and the essence of biblical chivalry.

3 Rules for Avoiding Theological Street Fights

There's been some resent scuffles on the Internet lately regarding a comment made by Doug Wilson which was quoted by Jared Wilson (no relation) which was taken offensively by Rachel Held Evans which ignited the wrath of everyone with a blog or twitter account. The details of the debate are unimportant for this conversation. All you need to know is that the whole things was theological politicking at its worst. Frankly, I find it rather troubling that theological discussion often resembles a street fight. There's no rules, no decency, no chivalry. Anything goes - dust in the eyes, fists in the nose, double-teaming, ect. The whole thing feels messy, disorderly and sub-Christian.

Now, I'm not saying that there isn't a place for making firm stands and sharp arguments. Some things are worth fighting over. However, especially when it comes to debates between fellow believers, I would like to see some dialogue that looks less like street fighting and more like gentlemen's boxing. Sometimes it'll get bloody and gruesome and the children will have to look away, but there's still a general feel of decency, chivalry and respect.

This brought me to mind of a conversation I once heard between Matt Chandler, Tim Keller and Michael Horton on this very issue. They lay out a few good guidelines for theological gentlemen's boxing:


1. When possible do it in the context of relationship.

Especially in the Internet age, it's easy to take people on from a distance. We all have a tendency (this is where original sin comes in) to paints people in bad and unfair lights. Whenever possible, before slamming a position get to know people that hold that position. This does mean you compromise your stance. It just means that you get to know the humanity behind the opposition.
2. Give the opposing argument in a way that your opponent would recognize and own.

Don't frame the other guy's position in a way that makes it sound silly or sinister. State in a way that he would gladly say, "Yeah, that's what I believe." Why? Because the alternative is fighitng a bunch of straw men. If the person isn't defining the terms the same way you are then you're really not wrestling with his ideas but your own misconception of his ideas. Also, this shows your opponent that you respect him or her enough to actually take the time to study their views and positions.

3. Be careful in assigning consequences to a person's beliefs.

It's one thing to say that a person's position will likely lead to something far worse. However, be careful not to imply that person necessarily holds to that far worse position. This is closely related to previous point. Get to know the other person's argument and see how they hold things in tension or how they might handle the slippery slope.

You can watch the whole conversation (which includes a nice bit about the Internet and reading) here:

Pomosexuality: A Roundup

"If culture is religion externalized, as Henry Van Til observed, homosexuality (and other forms of deviance) are the perfect manifestation of an evolutionary, re-invent yourself kind of paganism, which is the religious worldview our nation is in the process of adopting." That was Doug Wilson's summary of the current cultral climate, which he calls "pomosexuality". I would like to draw your attention to some very interesting stuff by some very smart people on this very important issue.

Earlier this year, Pastor Wilson did a series of lectures at the University of Indiana about this issue. And some people weren't too happy about it, as you can see in this trailer:



Gotta love tolerance, eh? You can watch the lectures and the Q&A HERE. Wilson also did a very nice follow-up interview which you can read HERE.

However, my fear is that many Christian don't realize just how deep the issue goes. We lost the highground on this issue before I was born. Egalitarianism was the battering ramp that tore down the door for homosexuality to rush in. That's the issue that John Piper, Russel Moore, Ligon Duncan and Greg Gilbert address:

3 Things I've Learned from my Dad

All children should honor their father, but my dad made it easy. I've learned many, many things from my dad. So many that I couldn't even begin to chronicle them. But on this Father's Day, I would like to share a few of the things my dad has taught me.

1. The Lord is Lord all the time and everywhere.

My father never allowed being a Christian to be a part-time occupation. Faith wasn't something that happened on Sunday and then cessed to exist on Monday-Saturday. Rather, Dad saturated everything is the simply idea that God never stopped being God and therefore we should never stopped living under His authority. Thus, he taught me to leave God out of nothing, whether it was going to church, playing softball or changing oil.

2. The Bible is a big deal.

This is something Dad never really had to say. I mean, he did say it but he didn't have to. Because every morning for as long as I can remember, I've seen my dad sitting in his little study - the dark basement corner illuminated by a small lamp - reading the Bible. Now, my dad's not a reader and yet he puts zealous bookworms to shame with his devotion to a single book, the Book. Therefore, as a very young guy I learned that this book they called the Bible matter to my dad. My best memories of bonding with my dad was not the normal father-son bonding moments like playing catch or working on the car. We did all those things, but that's not what stands out. What stands out is sitting around the dinner table talking about the Scriptures.

3. Truth is more than head-knowledge.

My dad's not what you would call a theologian. But in another sense he's exactly what you would call a theologian. Were he ever to write a theological work it would look more like Proverbs than Romans. He's a very practical person who wants to connect everything to the nuts-and-bolts reality of daily living. For him, truth isn't a concept floating in the sky. It's a pathway to walk. Truth is something to be lived, not just thought about.

These are just some of the things that I've learned from my dad. I'm very thankful to have such a man as my father.

Happy Father's Day!!!

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See also:

Why My Father's a Paradox (And Why I Love It)
3 Reasons I Appreciate My Mom